We've been considering different strategies in dealing with difficult people.  So far, we have discussed, kill with kindness, listen and respond, describe how you see the situation, try not to take a position-deal with a need, be "for" something and ask questions.  Our final discussion will be accept blame.

 When you have consciously or unconsciously offended the other person, admit what your fault is quickly.  Whenever you shoulder your share of the blame, others are more likely to own up to theirs.  Tip:  Sometimes you can encourage the other person to cooperate by claiming more responsibility than you deserve.  Example:  "I might have sounded a bit irate when I called about John's homework.  I apologize if I came across as demanding.  I was just so stressed from trying to help him each night.  I guess I needed to vent my frustrations and I'm sorry I took it out on you."

It's a fact of life that we will have to deal with difficult people from time to time, but we don't have to be difficult people ourselves.  Building a spirit of cooperation, respect and being a team player will go a long way to gaining what you hope to accomplish for your child at your next case conference. Adapted from the In*Source Parent Packet and from Alliance Parent Center Newsline Articles and Resources, PLUK News October/November, 1999

Cathy Boswell